Our Journey to Dexter

I assumed getting pregnant would be easy – that it would happen as soon as we started trying. Boyyyyy was I wrong. I remember we tried for a little while right when we got married in 2016 then gave it up for a while. We decided to take it a little more serious in 2017. When things weren’t working out in our favor we sought out help through a doctor. For the first year we were given some things to try on our own at home –it wasn’t working. If you know me, you know that when I want something, I want it right then so this was not easy for me to accept. I also like to be in control and once I realized this probably wasn’t happening on our own, I was ready to move straight to a round of IVF (in vitro fertilization) and not waste any more time.

Our doctor convinced us to try an IUI (intrauterine insemination) first. I didn’t want to do it because I knew several people who had and it didn’t work for them. I didn’t want to waste the time or money (even though it was much cheaper than IVF) on something with a lower chance –but we did.

We did our first IUI in March 2019 and guess what, it didn’t work. After talking with our doctor we decided to try it one more time before moving on to IVF. Fast forward three months to June and we tried it again. I remember getting in the car after the procedure and the very first song on the radio was “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” by Whitney Houston –my favorite song. I thought to myself, it’s going to work this time.

A friend of mine had an IUI at the exact same time. We decided to meet up for lunch during our [two week wait] to discuss all things fertility. It was nice to have someone to talk to who was going through the same thing as me. But then things changed –her IUI worked and mine didn’t. Of course I was happy for her but I was also devastated. Why didn’t mine work? Why was this so difficult?

Being the determined person I am, I was ready to just move on to the next thing, IVF, so we did five months later.

Let me start by saying this –you know those photos you see of newborn babies where they are surrounded by a ring of tons and tons of needles from IVF? Well, I thought those photos were fake and exaggerated. I learned very quickly they’re not. You really do have to take THAT many shots.

We started our IVF journey in November of 2019. I remember sitting at the doctor’s office with the nurse, learning how to give myself the shots. I kept thinking, how can they let us do this at home by ourselves? It just seemed so wild and scary to me. What if we mess up? Chris had to administer the shots and honestly they weren’t as scary as I imagined. These first shots were in my stomach and prepared me for my egg retrieval.

Speaking of eggs, let me go ahead and let you know that I only have one ovary (due to a teratoma tumor taking my other ovary –if you’re not easily grossed out, look those up) so I was warned that there was a chance I wouldn’t get as many eggs as someone with two ovaries. Little did the doctor know, I’m an overachiever and my single little ovary put out 30 eggs! Ladies with two ovaries don’t even get that sometimes. My 30 eggs turned into 10 embryos and the next step was the transfer. Instead of moving on with a fresh transfer, my doctor wanted to get my body “back to normal” after all the meds and do a frozen transfer. On January 7th, 2020 I arrived at the doctor’s office with a full bladder, my yoshi socks and a whole lotta hope. What’s neat about IVF is you get to watch, on the screen, the moment the embryo is placed in your uterus. Once that little baby was dropped off, the doctor said, “well, technically you’re pregnant!” I don’t think I’ll forget that moment.

It takes 10 days to find out if you really are pregnant with a blood test. I went back on January 16 for my test and had to wait for the doctor to call me with the results. I spent ALL day out and about trying to stay busy before the big call. Shortly after I got home, it came. The “I’m sorry, you’re not pregnant” call.

Fast forward a few days/weeks –I really don’t know– I found out one of my friends was pregnant and that was really, really hard for me. That was supposed to be me.

We decided to take a break from it all. I booked Chris and I a cruise planned for June and was really excited to just get away. And then covid happened and everything was canceled.

The Fall rolled around and we decided we wanted to try again. I started back up my fertility meds in September and we had another transfer date scheduled for October 14, 2020. This time, I did all the superstitious things I could find on the internet –eating pineapple core the days leading up to the transfer, eating McDonald’s fries on the way home from the transfer, wearing socks constantly until my blood test, ALL of it. If there was ANY chance any of this would help, I was doing it.

On October 23, I went for my blood test. Afterwards, I did my same routine –got breakfast and went to a nearby tjmaxx to stay busy. Last time I didn’t get a phone call until 3 in the afternoon so I was expecting the same. I’m strolling through the aisles and all of a sudden get a phone call at 10am, two hours after my appointment.

I was finally pregnant.

and yes, I was crying in tjmaxx.

Chris obviously knew I’d be getting the call sometime that day but he didn’t know when. I rushed to buy the smallest checkerboard vans I could find (because if you know us, you know that’s our thing). With us doing IVF and there not really being any surprises, I didn’t think I’d be able to tell Chris we were pregnant in a cute way like I had always dreamed but I did and it was absolutely perfect.

40 weeks + 2 days of pregnancy, 24 hours of labor, 1 accidentally unplugged epidural and a 3rd degree tear later, Dexter entered our lives and I was so glad the wait for our baby was finally over.

Photos By: Kayla Jean Photography

  1. Kristen R says:

    Thank you for sharing this! We have had 2 failed IUI and are starting the IVF process! This gives me so much hope!

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